I had a conversation with a friend recently who found herself perplexed that her X was being, well shall I say, not so cooperative in a request that she’d made. She pondered how she could’ve chosen such a person to fall in love with, as if he’d done the unthinkable in denying her request. Immediately, I responded that when someone is hurt and rejected they do at least one of two things; retaliate or shrink back being a victim of the circumstances! This person is not one to likely lay down and die. His very nature is to feel pain, yes, but to also retaliate, seek revenge and do things that would hurt you or at least intentionally not help you.
Hurt people hurt people. In this case, naturally, a part of him would want to see her hurt given that in his mind, she hurt him. Even the most compassionate of people will at the very least have the thought of wanting the person who hurt them to hurt in someway. And probably more people will act accordingly given the opportunity. His response was appropriate for a highly disappointed, saddened and angry person whose spouse will not take him back.
The question she also asked was “how could someone intentionally do something to hurt another”.
I thought it was a fascinating question, given the act of not considering reconciliation hurt him. She hurt him in being closed minded about seeking help to reconcile. So, didn’t she ultimately play a part in the cause of his pain and the cause of him not being so cooperative now?
Often we refuse to take responsibility in how people are responding and relating to us. Perhaps it’s time to step back and take a look internally to see what’s really going on. Nothing is happening TO you, but because of you. Take time to reassess your life and determine “who’s at cause of your life. You or someone else?”
THAT is the question!
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Until next time!
Lisa Thomas, Author of Mind Body Spirit Cleanse e E- Handbook
President of The P3 Group, Inc.